Big change

[stgulik]

Menopause has been kicking my ass the past few days. Well, the past two years, not to put too fine a point on it.

Yesterday on the phone, I totally ragged on my dad. There's a family reunion in August, but a change in itinerary has happened - a problem beyond anyone's control. Dad is trying to accommodate me, but I've been in such a snit, it can't have been easy.

And he laughed and ordered me to look for the humor in the situation, so I know he didn't take me too seriously - but still, bad form!

I emailed him late last night to apologize, not putting the blame on hormones because I know it would have embarrassed him. But I can tell all of you.

When's it going to be over?

And what if it's not menopause? What if bitchiness is my new natural state? D:

Sometimes I think the insomnia is the worst part. OTC pills don't cut it. I'm so used to it now, I have a deal going with myself. If I lay there longer than 30 minutes, I must get out of bed. Might as well make use of those pesky nighttime hours, if sleep ain't going to happen. So on the plus side, I'm getting a lot of reading and editing done ...

Comments

[valady.livejournal.com]

I hate the mood swings (like perpetual PMS), but the hot flashes are the worst. Luckily I don't get too many of them, but when I do---ACK.

I've had insomnia most of my adult life, so I can't blame menopause for that. :)

[stgulik.livejournal.com]

Ugh, the mood swings. I know.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Babe, I'm so sorry. I understand it, truly I do. It doesn't help, but you are no alone, and you are going to get through it.

I'm in a state of quiet terror right now - terrified I can't find a job and risk losing everything. I'm terrified of just about everything to the point where I'm not moving from my desk. This seems to be the only sane point in my head.

This too will pass, I promise, and don't feel bad, because I know you better than that - you will get through it and out the other side. People understand, they really do.

I am lucky to get three full hours of sleep. I'm sleeping more right now because I have no routine, and that's not good, and it's starting to spiral into just sleeping and writing. I'm half-heartedly applying for jobs, but I need to get aggressive and don't have the energy.

Sorry to rant. I'm supposed to try to make you feel better, not dump my problems.

[valady.livejournal.com]

My GYN has a picture on the wall of one of her exam rooms; it's a woman on a swing and beneath it says---'Next mood swing in 20 minutes'. LOL

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

I went through an early menopause, but I will tell you that it's a gradual progression. It's not like you can pinpoint it to a specific time. With me, it started in my early thirties with my periods becoming sporadic until by my mid-forties they had stopped. I still seem to get "mood swings" though on a regular basis, so even when the periods stop, the cycle doesn't. I seem to remember reading that it can go on for a good ten years after they cease. Fortunately, my side effects weren't bad; a few mild-ish hot flashes.

All in all, there are more positives than negatives: I don't have to use birth control anymore... I don't have to buy tampons, let alone keep one in my purse "just in case"... I can wear whatever I want to at any time of the month... my skin has finally cleared up... and I seem more focused and less concerned with what other people think. But that may be a factor of age rather than menopause, per se.

[stgulik.livejournal.com]

No, honey, there are no rules here. Besides, empathy is way better than sympathy, and less lonely! They say it's important to establish a routine when you have too much time on your hands. But I don't know who "they" are or what makes "them" such experts. :-) Remember you're smart and capable, and this is just the low point on the wheel. Hang in there, sweetheart.

[stgulik.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the encouragement, Mimi. Wow, that WAS an early menopause for you! Nice to hear the end has more positives than negatives - something to look forward to. :-)

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thanks, sweetie. Do I sound too pathetic to add that now I've finished the exchange fic I'm a little down about that as well?

I know I'll be fine; as you say, the wheel will come back up, I just hope it's before our money runs out!

[stgulik.livejournal.com]

LOL - being done feels a little weird to me, too, though I have a bit left to edit on my end. Still, we'll always have LML. :-)

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

LOL - Sometimes, I think we'll ALWAYS have LML. The hubs just asked me last night, "Are you anywhere NEAR being done with Lay Me Low?" I said, "I frickkin' hope so!"

[melusin-79.livejournal.com]

may I recommend this site whenever you need a laugh or some info

http://www.minniepauz.com/

needing less sleep after the menopause seems to be pretty common, or in my case, not wanting to sleep until the early hours, but it's a bitch when you have to get up for work the next day

[stgulik.livejournal.com]

This looks like a funny site. Thanks! I think everyone's used to me sleep-deprived at work by now.