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stgulikGroom: Don, do you want to watch 'The Untouchables'?
Dad: No, I'm sorry, that's too violent.
Groom: Lord of the Rings?
Me: Um, that's still too violent for my dad. Dad, how about Harry Potter? All of us are kind of into it.
Dad: Oh, I've always wanted to see that.
Groom: Are you sure?
Dad: Sure!
-o0o-
Disk 1: HP and the Sorcerer's Stone
Dad: Oh my gosh, they're so young. You know, you see them these days in The New Yorker, that Daniel Radcliffe, and here he looks so young.
Dad: I would have known John Williams wrote the score right away, even if you hadn't told me.
Dad: Now, how did this Daniel Radcliffe get the role? How did they find him?
Me: Well, it's a funny story ...
Dad: And who is this playing Hermione? Her parents must be so proud.
[Harry is in the Restricted Section]
Dad: Oh. This movie seems a little too scary for children.
[Chess board scene]
Dad: I can't believe they think this is a children's movie. Look what just happened to that boy on the knight. It's too intense for children!
[Voldemort pops out of the back of some guy's skull]
Dad: Oh my gosh!
Dad: Did your daughter actually watch this? How old was she? Seven?
Dad. I don't know. That was very intense.
Me: Did you enjoy it?
Dad: Oh yes! Can we watch the next one tomorrow?
Me: Um, are you sure?
-o0o-
Disk 2: HP and the Chamber of Secrets
[I wasn't there, but basically it was 1 hour and 45 minutes of my dad assuring Groom that it's much too violent for a kid's movie, and this Daniel Radcliffe sounds better with his voice changed, and that he can't wait to watch the next movie tomorrow. Yes, he's sure.]
-o0o-
Disk 3: HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Dad: Well now, look at how much they've all grown up. Their parents must be so proud of them.
Me: You keep saying that. What are you implying?
Groom: Sh-h-h
Me: Is this because I never became a child actor?
Dad: How about some wine?
[Snape teaches Lupin's class]
Dad: Now, see? Something is going to happen. I mean, with regard to werewolves. This interlude with Snape teaching about werewolves is classic foreshadowing. You watch.
Dad: Now, how did Professor Lupin know the paper this Daniel Radcliffe had was a map?
Me: Good question. In the book, they explain that Lupin was one of the map's creators when he was a student.
Dad: Well! That would have been helpful to know.
[Hermione pulls out a Time-Turner]
Dad: Time travel! That's how she did it! That was so smart. This actress playing Hermione is brilliant.
Me: The actress didn't personally think it up, Dad.
[The werewolf chases Harry and Hermione in the forest]
Dad: There, you see? A werewolf. I told you.
Dad: This is much too violent to be a kid's movie. I can't believe they think this is a kid's movie.
Dad: How many more movies are there?
Groom: Five
Dad: Oh, great!
[Right at the end, my kid comes home from her summer job.]
Kid: You guys are watching Harry Potter? Grandpa, are you sure?
-o0o-
Disk 4: HP and the Goblet of Fire
Dad: You know, the thing I'm getting the biggest kick out of is watching all these young actors grow up. Especially this Hermione. They're all so good.
Dad: Now, where are they going?
Groom: The Quidditch World Cup. It's a big sporting event.
[Death Eaters terrorize the Quidditch fans]
Dad: How are they supposed to get back to the Portkey? Who's to stop others from stealing it? How does the dad know it wasn't stolen already?
Me: Well ...
Dad: Mr. Weasley didn't think it through.
Groom: He broke the Dad Code.
Me: The Dad Code?
Dad: It's a thing. I would have written him up.
Groom: Me too.
Me: Geez, you guys.
[Ron, Hermione and Mr. Weasley come back to the campground for Harry]
Dad: See? I told you. Here they come back. That Portkey was probably stolen.
[The Goblet of Fire spits out Harry's name.]
Dad: Well, naturally! Otherwise, it wouldn't be a Harry Potter movie!
[Harry is told he must compete]
Dad: If Harry didn't put in his name, why does he have to compete?
Me: Thank you! I've been asking that for years.
Groom: It's a binding magical contract!
Dad and me: Hmm.
[After several stops for wine, we are about to watch the graveyard scene]
Groom: [to me] Stay ...
Me: Grr.
Dad: What?
Groom: She doesn't like this scene. She says it's too scary. She never stays in the room.
[We watch it]
Dad: So that's Voldemort.
Dad: I can see why you don't stay. This is too scary to be a kid's movie.
-o0o-
Disks 5 - 8 [Skipped]
We must have finally reached the threshold of my dad's tolerance for fantasy violence, because from then on, he showed absolutely no interest in how Lord Voldemort would be defeated. The only thing he wanted to know, he said, was how Daniel, Rupert and Emma would look all grown up. He's like the quintessential grandfather! So I dug up three scenes from OotP, HBP ("Oh, is Harry a professor now?") and DH1 (with inadvertent spoiler) on YouTube. We watched them together.
Dad: I'm so pleased those kids turned out so well.
Dad: No, I'm sorry, that's too violent.
Groom: Lord of the Rings?
Me: Um, that's still too violent for my dad. Dad, how about Harry Potter? All of us are kind of into it.
Dad: Oh, I've always wanted to see that.
Groom: Are you sure?
Dad: Sure!
-o0o-
Disk 1: HP and the Sorcerer's Stone
Dad: Oh my gosh, they're so young. You know, you see them these days in The New Yorker, that Daniel Radcliffe, and here he looks so young.
Dad: I would have known John Williams wrote the score right away, even if you hadn't told me.
Dad: Now, how did this Daniel Radcliffe get the role? How did they find him?
Me: Well, it's a funny story ...
Dad: And who is this playing Hermione? Her parents must be so proud.
[Harry is in the Restricted Section]
Dad: Oh. This movie seems a little too scary for children.
[Chess board scene]
Dad: I can't believe they think this is a children's movie. Look what just happened to that boy on the knight. It's too intense for children!
[Voldemort pops out of the back of some guy's skull]
Dad: Oh my gosh!
Dad: Did your daughter actually watch this? How old was she? Seven?
Dad. I don't know. That was very intense.
Me: Did you enjoy it?
Dad: Oh yes! Can we watch the next one tomorrow?
Me: Um, are you sure?
-o0o-
Disk 2: HP and the Chamber of Secrets
[I wasn't there, but basically it was 1 hour and 45 minutes of my dad assuring Groom that it's much too violent for a kid's movie, and this Daniel Radcliffe sounds better with his voice changed, and that he can't wait to watch the next movie tomorrow. Yes, he's sure.]
-o0o-
Disk 3: HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Dad: Well now, look at how much they've all grown up. Their parents must be so proud of them.
Me: You keep saying that. What are you implying?
Groom: Sh-h-h
Me: Is this because I never became a child actor?
Dad: How about some wine?
[Snape teaches Lupin's class]
Dad: Now, see? Something is going to happen. I mean, with regard to werewolves. This interlude with Snape teaching about werewolves is classic foreshadowing. You watch.
Dad: Now, how did Professor Lupin know the paper this Daniel Radcliffe had was a map?
Me: Good question. In the book, they explain that Lupin was one of the map's creators when he was a student.
Dad: Well! That would have been helpful to know.
[Hermione pulls out a Time-Turner]
Dad: Time travel! That's how she did it! That was so smart. This actress playing Hermione is brilliant.
Me: The actress didn't personally think it up, Dad.
[The werewolf chases Harry and Hermione in the forest]
Dad: There, you see? A werewolf. I told you.
Dad: This is much too violent to be a kid's movie. I can't believe they think this is a kid's movie.
Dad: How many more movies are there?
Groom: Five
Dad: Oh, great!
[Right at the end, my kid comes home from her summer job.]
Kid: You guys are watching Harry Potter? Grandpa, are you sure?
-o0o-
Disk 4: HP and the Goblet of Fire
Dad: You know, the thing I'm getting the biggest kick out of is watching all these young actors grow up. Especially this Hermione. They're all so good.
Dad: Now, where are they going?
Groom: The Quidditch World Cup. It's a big sporting event.
[Death Eaters terrorize the Quidditch fans]
Dad: How are they supposed to get back to the Portkey? Who's to stop others from stealing it? How does the dad know it wasn't stolen already?
Me: Well ...
Dad: Mr. Weasley didn't think it through.
Groom: He broke the Dad Code.
Me: The Dad Code?
Dad: It's a thing. I would have written him up.
Groom: Me too.
Me: Geez, you guys.
[Ron, Hermione and Mr. Weasley come back to the campground for Harry]
Dad: See? I told you. Here they come back. That Portkey was probably stolen.
[The Goblet of Fire spits out Harry's name.]
Dad: Well, naturally! Otherwise, it wouldn't be a Harry Potter movie!
[Harry is told he must compete]
Dad: If Harry didn't put in his name, why does he have to compete?
Me: Thank you! I've been asking that for years.
Groom: It's a binding magical contract!
Dad and me: Hmm.
[After several stops for wine, we are about to watch the graveyard scene]
Groom: [to me] Stay ...
Me: Grr.
Dad: What?
Groom: She doesn't like this scene. She says it's too scary. She never stays in the room.
[We watch it]
Dad: So that's Voldemort.
Dad: I can see why you don't stay. This is too scary to be a kid's movie.
-o0o-
Disks 5 - 8 [Skipped]
We must have finally reached the threshold of my dad's tolerance for fantasy violence, because from then on, he showed absolutely no interest in how Lord Voldemort would be defeated. The only thing he wanted to know, he said, was how Daniel, Rupert and Emma would look all grown up. He's like the quintessential grandfather! So I dug up three scenes from OotP, HBP ("Oh, is Harry a professor now?") and DH1 (with inadvertent spoiler) on YouTube. We watched them together.
Dad: I'm so pleased those kids turned out so well.
