Thoughts upon deleting 2500 emails in my retail-only Yahoo account

[stgulik]

My best friend from high school sent me a file of Billboard's Top 100 in 2012. Everything in the file is either rap or country. What the hell did I ever do to him? All I could think was "Why did this girl Florida hyphenate her name?" Half the rap songs feature Rhianna. Doesn't that poor kid ever sleep?

I glanced through the more recent bookstore sales events before deleting them all. I really ought to read more books. But I'm into fanfic now; I'm busy.

I unsubscribed to half a dozen retailers. They were really nice about it, in a virtual reality way. Woot even made a joke about possibly giving me one last creepy voice mail, 'cause they're sure we can work it out. At least, I hope it was a joke.

The only unsubscribe I felt guilty about was Sparkpeople, the diet guru. Because I really ought to be eating fewer recreational calories, and Sparkpeople was helping on that score for a while, until they made me feel like a creep for never buying their books.

The only thing I can never bring myself to unsubscribe from is GOOP. This is Gwynneth Paltrow's whenever-the-hell-she-feels-like-it weekly newsletter of first-world household hints. Each issue, Gwynneth lets her avid readers in on the secret of living the life of the American glitterati. It's just so awful. I love it. It's my guilty pleasure. I saved all the unread back issues, preparing for an orgy of vicarious living. By this time next week, I shall know exactly how one directs one's realtor to find the perfect pied-a-terre in Toronto in the event one is forced to film on location.

Comments

[kittylefish.livejournal.com]

1) it is quite clever to have an email specifically devoted to retailers. wth did i not think of that years ago?

2) okay, i looked at goop because i needed to know. so i clicked on a tab called 'do' - and there proceeded to see an article in which gp's hairdresser shows that do-it-yourself hair isn't so hard. erm. yeah, it's not that hard when you have a hair-dresser there to do 90% of the work! lol.

which doesn't mean i don't understand your need to follow it.

[stgulik.livejournal.com]

Mimi just called it studying a culture vastly different than our own. GOOP readers are anthropologists!

[kittylefish.livejournal.com]

mimi is always good for a unique wisdom and perspective.

[toblass.livejournal.com]

You are so brave to go in there and unsubscribe! I'm a coward. I don't read all that junky email, I just delete them. Can't and don't want to deal with them.

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

I looked at GOOP, and I can see why one would want to read it; it's like studying a culture that is radically different than one's own and has no idea that cultures different than it exist in the world. So, Gwynneth... what's the weather like up your own ass?

Rap and country, eh? I guess that explains why I don't listen to current music anymore....

[magic-knickers.livejournal.com]

I read more fanfiction than actual books now, too. It's a little strange for me, still.

Oh, GOOP is so much fun. Her world is so vastly different from mine that it's almost like she's an alien.