An eventful week, featuring parents
Aug. 15th, 2014 12:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stgulikMy father in-law, Buddy, passed away last Monday. He was 90, and had been living in hospice for the last six or seven weeks.
You know how your life seems predictable and routine for weeks and weeks, and then one week, All The Things happen? That was - or rather is - our week.
On Saturday, we began our annual family reunion at the cabin we always rent at Lake Tahoe. We're lucky folks because LT is only about 1 1/2 hours from Sacramento. Other family members flew in from out of state or drove down from the far northern reaches. A few made sure to swing through and see Buddy in hospice, which was a blessing, as it turned out to be their last visit with him.
Then first thing Monday, we got the call that Buddy had passed away. A few of us drove back to Sacramento to take care of things at that end, while others drove to Grass Valley (his home town) to receive him at the mortuary. It was strange that the end of his life was surprisingly simple: all services are already paid for and those hundreds of crucial little decisions had already been made. And since we decided to have the memorial in September, there was nothing left to do with our time except, well, swim in the lake. So that's what we did for the rest of the week.
Groom and I had brought with us several boxes of things Buddy had kept in his rooms over the years - knick-knacks, WWII memorabilia, framed photographs and photo albums, mostly. The siblings worked to share everything out amongst themselves, but it was slow going, what with all the reminiscing that the boxes inspired. For that reason, it was a blessing we were already on vacation, if you see what I mean - we were together, settled, in what is arguably our favorite place on earth, with nothing to do but be a family.
Vacation's over, but my traveling is not. On Wednesday, my brother called to say my mom was taken to the hospital. She had blockage in her arteries. Although she's chomping at the bit to be released and go home, they're not letting her out yet. So after I finish here, repack and eat a little lunch, I'm off to Mom's town to see what's what.
Well, actually, I'm not sure about that now. I just had two long phone convos with my mother, and the bottom line is, she absolutely doesn't want to see me today. I know her well enough that if I did visit, she'd be incredibly pissed. She says all she wants to do is sleep, and she wants me to be there first thing tomorrow. Oy.
You know how your life seems predictable and routine for weeks and weeks, and then one week, All The Things happen? That was - or rather is - our week.
On Saturday, we began our annual family reunion at the cabin we always rent at Lake Tahoe. We're lucky folks because LT is only about 1 1/2 hours from Sacramento. Other family members flew in from out of state or drove down from the far northern reaches. A few made sure to swing through and see Buddy in hospice, which was a blessing, as it turned out to be their last visit with him.
Then first thing Monday, we got the call that Buddy had passed away. A few of us drove back to Sacramento to take care of things at that end, while others drove to Grass Valley (his home town) to receive him at the mortuary. It was strange that the end of his life was surprisingly simple: all services are already paid for and those hundreds of crucial little decisions had already been made. And since we decided to have the memorial in September, there was nothing left to do with our time except, well, swim in the lake. So that's what we did for the rest of the week.
Groom and I had brought with us several boxes of things Buddy had kept in his rooms over the years - knick-knacks, WWII memorabilia, framed photographs and photo albums, mostly. The siblings worked to share everything out amongst themselves, but it was slow going, what with all the reminiscing that the boxes inspired. For that reason, it was a blessing we were already on vacation, if you see what I mean - we were together, settled, in what is arguably our favorite place on earth, with nothing to do but be a family.
Vacation's over, but my traveling is not. On Wednesday, my brother called to say my mom was taken to the hospital. She had blockage in her arteries. Although she's chomping at the bit to be released and go home, they're not letting her out yet. So after I finish here, repack and eat a little lunch, I'm off to Mom's town to see what's what.
Well, actually, I'm not sure about that now. I just had two long phone convos with my mother, and the bottom line is, she absolutely doesn't want to see me today. I know her well enough that if I did visit, she'd be incredibly pissed. She says all she wants to do is sleep, and she wants me to be there first thing tomorrow. Oy.
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no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 08:17 pm (UTC)I hope your mother will be out of the hospital soon.
I'm sorry I can't say more though...otherwise I'll be a sad mess as it brings up sad recent events for me as well.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 08:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 09:26 pm (UTC)I hope your mother will be better soon.
no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 10:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 09:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 10:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 09:55 pm (UTC)I am glad that you were all together, and so many got to see Buddy one last time. And I'm sorry your Mom isn't well, but perhaps it's best that you have a little alone time this evening. I know Mom is always nice about visiting, but you can tell when she's just not up to entertaining us.
If there's anything I can do for you, let me know. I've freed up some time by dropping a fest, so I'm not swimming around in my own insecurity right now - I'm probably almost coherent!
xxoo
no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 10:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 10:13 pm (UTC)~hugs you and your groom~
no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 10:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 10:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 11:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 11:49 pm (UTC)Condolences
Date: 2014-08-16 12:12 am (UTC)It seems we share a little in common. My father-in-law, Sam, is ninety, and is on the waiting list to go into a nursing home back in New York. We've had him living with us for six months out of the year since 2009, and have seen first hand the decline he's been in for the last two years.
It's never easy when parents age and eventually pass away. Even when a death is expected, there's still no filling the void once they leave us. Wishing you and your family the blessings of peace and comfort during this time.
Re: Condolences
Date: 2014-08-16 02:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-16 02:51 am (UTC)I hope all goes well with your mum!
no subject
Date: 2014-08-16 02:18 pm (UTC)