My poor FIL
Jul. 29th, 2012 10:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stgulikWhat must it be like to be permanently confused?
My in-laws recently moved their father to a senior living facility close to where my husband and I live.
There were many factors preceded by a long history I won't recap here. Suffice to say, he's settled in his new place and doing very well - outwardly.
Inwardly, it's a different story. He has absolutely no idea where he is - or sometimes who he is. Some days, this actually doesn't bother him. I'll go and sit with him on a comfy couch, and we'll just while away the time making humorous observations about the other seniors.
But some days when I visit, he'll be more agitated. He'll continually ask me what year it is, how long he's been there, where he used to live before and for how long, what's happened to his wife, etc. He really strives to get a lock on his lost memories.
And then ... there are the worst days. Last night he fell in his bathroom right before the staff could get there to help him to his walker. He was taken to Emergency. My husband and I hung out with him for four hours while he got a CT, stitches, bandages etc. Taking him back to the facility was definitely a problem for him. He wanted out, he wanted to go home (to a place he hasn't lived since 1975), he hated everybody- in alphabetical order- who conspired to keep him in this terrible place, etc.
The injury and the disruption of his routine really agitated him. No reassurance we try to offer works for him when he's like that. Groom was heartbroken but there was nothing he could say that would improve the situation. He and I finally left so that staff could put my father in-law to bed.
tl;dr: Growing old sucks.
My in-laws recently moved their father to a senior living facility close to where my husband and I live.
There were many factors preceded by a long history I won't recap here. Suffice to say, he's settled in his new place and doing very well - outwardly.
Inwardly, it's a different story. He has absolutely no idea where he is - or sometimes who he is. Some days, this actually doesn't bother him. I'll go and sit with him on a comfy couch, and we'll just while away the time making humorous observations about the other seniors.
But some days when I visit, he'll be more agitated. He'll continually ask me what year it is, how long he's been there, where he used to live before and for how long, what's happened to his wife, etc. He really strives to get a lock on his lost memories.
And then ... there are the worst days. Last night he fell in his bathroom right before the staff could get there to help him to his walker. He was taken to Emergency. My husband and I hung out with him for four hours while he got a CT, stitches, bandages etc. Taking him back to the facility was definitely a problem for him. He wanted out, he wanted to go home (to a place he hasn't lived since 1975), he hated everybody- in alphabetical order- who conspired to keep him in this terrible place, etc.
The injury and the disruption of his routine really agitated him. No reassurance we try to offer works for him when he's like that. Groom was heartbroken but there was nothing he could say that would improve the situation. He and I finally left so that staff could put my father in-law to bed.
tl;dr: Growing old sucks.
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no subject
Date: 2012-07-30 02:23 am (UTC)Like everyone else here, I hope the good days outnumber the bad, and that the bad are as good as they can be (if that makes sense).
Hopefully he'll settle in properly soon and be less agitated. It's a horrible thing to go through for both the person suffering it and their family, but I hope, with time, it will improve.
Lots of good vibes coming your way from the Antipodes, my dear.