Mom-worries
May. 17th, 2015 10:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stgulikSaw my mother yesterday. Normally, I wouldn't put myself through the 3-hour round trip two times in a month, but when I spoke to her on Mother's Day, I suffered a paroxysm of guilt and promised a belated visit.
Oh, well, it was necessary and we got a lot done. I took her to Home Depot to buy potted herbs for her garden. We parked in the handicapped slot and put up her brand-new placard to prove we belonged there. Next to our space, someone had left one of the store scooters. My 76-year-old mother has never ridden a scooter before! I knew she was in for a treat. So I helped her into the seat, showed her how to go forward and backward, and off she went. She loved it, I can tell, though part of her still considers such devices giving in. It did my heart good to watch her all carefree, toodling down the aisles, and not have to worry she might fall using her normal walker.
I worry about her more than she worries about herself. Some worries are legitimate, like ones for her health and safety. I arranged to have a helper come in three hours a day, and I keep an eye out for other useful things to do.
Many worries are not things I need to take on. For instance, one bedroom in her house is where my brother and his son lived for a while when they moved back to town. People, please understand, they basically lived like squatters in that bedroom together--mattresses on the floor, food wrappers everywhere, dirty underwear, cigarette packs, comic books, video games ... After they moved out, we even discovered dried snot on the walls. (Pray it was done by the younger of them, but who the hell knows.) Groom and I took the mattresses to the dump and washed out the room as best we could, but the walls are still a little ... streaky. I want to paint them, but Mom has had enough of that whole chapter of her life, and she forbids me to bring it up. Again, I don't need to take this on because the look of one remote wall doesn't directly affect her health or safety. But I keep a little inventory of low-level worries at the back of my mind, ready to trot out at odd moments.
It should be a lovely Sunday, back in my own little house. I'll watch some baseball this morning while getting laundry done. And I promised the dogs an extra-long walk!
Oh, well, it was necessary and we got a lot done. I took her to Home Depot to buy potted herbs for her garden. We parked in the handicapped slot and put up her brand-new placard to prove we belonged there. Next to our space, someone had left one of the store scooters. My 76-year-old mother has never ridden a scooter before! I knew she was in for a treat. So I helped her into the seat, showed her how to go forward and backward, and off she went. She loved it, I can tell, though part of her still considers such devices giving in. It did my heart good to watch her all carefree, toodling down the aisles, and not have to worry she might fall using her normal walker.
I worry about her more than she worries about herself. Some worries are legitimate, like ones for her health and safety. I arranged to have a helper come in three hours a day, and I keep an eye out for other useful things to do.
Many worries are not things I need to take on. For instance, one bedroom in her house is where my brother and his son lived for a while when they moved back to town. People, please understand, they basically lived like squatters in that bedroom together--mattresses on the floor, food wrappers everywhere, dirty underwear, cigarette packs, comic books, video games ... After they moved out, we even discovered dried snot on the walls. (Pray it was done by the younger of them, but who the hell knows.) Groom and I took the mattresses to the dump and washed out the room as best we could, but the walls are still a little ... streaky. I want to paint them, but Mom has had enough of that whole chapter of her life, and she forbids me to bring it up. Again, I don't need to take this on because the look of one remote wall doesn't directly affect her health or safety. But I keep a little inventory of low-level worries at the back of my mind, ready to trot out at odd moments.
It should be a lovely Sunday, back in my own little house. I'll watch some baseball this morning while getting laundry done. And I promised the dogs an extra-long walk!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2015-05-18 06:02 am (UTC)